He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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