plz talk dirty to me
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
