Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
