Cold hands, warm shart.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
