let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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