Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
