I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
