having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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