why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My pussy is not your playground.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
