Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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