True but thats because hes a fetus.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
