you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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