It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
