you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
