hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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