I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
