Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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