no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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