I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
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