I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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