Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
