so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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