my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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