he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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