we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
