i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
