I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
