he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
