Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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