Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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