It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I enjoy the company of your penis
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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