very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
