pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
