In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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