I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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