K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
