A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
