Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
