My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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