she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I haven't been this sober since birth.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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