i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So much Jack, so little girl.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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