Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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