i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
