i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
