$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
