Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
