Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
