He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
