The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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