it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
